Almost there!

This week's spm was waaay more bearable than last week's. by a mile. add math paper 2 excluded though. Duh. I mean NATIONWIDE, I don't think atleast 5% thought the paper was bearable. But I could be wrong. Damn you smart people.

So lets give another breakdown, shall weee..

The breakdown. (heehee)
1. Maths. My paper 1 didn't turn out to be an amazing score, 34/40. That really isn't as good as others who I hear get like maximum two mistakes. What the hell man! Oh well. I mean its not like I will neverever get my A or anything, just, not an A+ la. Chyeah, I've never really been a maths kind of person. Paper 2 was okay too, tricky here and there but no MAJOR mistakes yet. Okay wait; 1 la.. Ho hum.
2. Pendidikan Islam OR Agama as we all call it. I thought it would be a disaster, considering I already didn't target an A for it before because I had a feeling I wouldn't have time to recap everything. & I didn't. I relied on spot chapters and whatnot. But hey, in the end, the paper was alright! 'cept for the Tajwid & susunan ayat parts. Other than that, no complaints.
3. Add Maths aka everyone's worst nightmare. Paper 1 was so-so, a typical SPM standard paper(not saying I am so pro until its totally easy for me) but it was something I could do because it was like past year papers. & then came paper 2. Which pretty much brought our confidence to zero but hey, lets hope the graph lowers. For all our sakes! :P

Next up, I've got Biology on Monday, followed by Literature in English on Tuesday. Wednesday's a break, and THEEEEN, its Physics on Thursday. And THEEEEN, I am free of high school, free of SPM, free of SCHOOL. Until June :) I, cannot, wait. No. Really. I am hyperventilating from excitement. Okay not really. TAK SABAR :)

I've got loooooooooooooads of things to do, to catch up on, to try, and to complete, during that 6(including December, its 7) blissful months of no-schooling. Gosh I cannot waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.

On top of the world!

not really.

x

In the middle.

Because I want to remember how I felt taking the SPM Examinations a year from now, which is when I've already started college, and laugh and scoff at how easy SPM was compared to college (not that I am sure of that anyway)

The second week of SPM will commence tomorrow, with subjects Maths, Agama & Add Math heading my way. Bleh, not the three best subjects in the world but I told myself I will manage. I will, I will! .. Bleh.

So far, EST, English, English 1119, BM and Sejarah have come and gone, quite fast might I add.
& let me tell you this.

Not once have I left the hall feeling a sense of accomplishment, I have not had the words "I aced it" run through my mind.
Not even after, say... english. Or sejarah.
Wtfbbq.

I tell myself, its NORMAL. Nobody is ever feeling a hundred percent for any paper. Then there are times when I tell myself, oh god what if you took everything for granted?

Here's the breakdown;
1. BM. Absolute disaster, I think, but I reckon I should take that back because according to the Law of Attraction, saying something will make it come true :) I cannot guarantee and A for this, but for all things good in this world please do not make me RE-SIT this paper. Please.
2. Sejarah. Paper 1 was an absolute disappointment. Sure, its a good enough result to secure a chance for an A overall, but.. God I want to hit myself for such a disappointing mark anyway. I knew I shouldn't have checked the whole paper.
3. English. Paper 1 was aitee. For paper 2, I couldn't even finish the second essay, when the examiner announced there was ten minutes left on the clock, I forced my freezing hands (no thanks to the AIRCONDS in the HALL) to write faster, trying to conjure up a good enough ending to my story, but ten minutes simply wasn't enough. So NOW, I am so afraid I cannot get an A in the 1119 part, which is the GCE O part of the english paper. Dammitttt.
4. EST. This is such a ridiculously unneccessary paper to take! & the worst part is, this paper is apparently taken up more by schools in KL, not the RURAL area kind of schools this subject was CREATED for; to improve students in the rural area who have difficulty in the english language. So this only means the STANDARDS for this paper is HIGH; meaning its hard to get A not ONLY for its strict marking scheme but also for the average scores among students in KL. & let me tell you; I am defo. NOT proud of my performance in this subject.

Sigh, I will update again during that 4 day break between my Add Maths and Literature in English paper.

Wish me luck. :(

9As. Thats the least I am asking for.

I told you I'd blog a couple of days before SPM.

I went to bed last night in a sort of.. moodless mood. if there's such a thing. My mom wasn't in the best of moods anyway. Then I woke up this morning at 8 something, and as usual I kept pressing my snoozer until I woke up again at around 10 something. Its unhealthy I know.

My mom told me this morning, what if you continue this kind of sleeping habit, and on wednesday morning you would wake up at 10 and miss your bm paper? In my head, "a tidak hadir is better than a Fail."

I'm feeling really, really, really nervous. Im in a confused mood today, a hungry one too, and knowing spm is just around the corner i feel like i should stop trying to study so hard, only to be panicking in the end.

but i cant just stop, because stopping is only for people who are ready. and I'm not.

According to Sha, once the first day is over, you won't feel so scared anymore.

I hope so. I'm just going to treat every spm day as another day, and go in the hall with confidence even if I'm not ready.

Then hope and pray for the best.

I'm just counting the days to the 3rd of December now. 17 days to go. seventeen, erika, you can do it, just believe in yourself as much as your family does.

God I can't wait for this race to end.

Form fives, we're nearly there.

Don't give up now.

dysfunctional.

I can hear my sister downstairs WAILING. and it makes me want to go down and shout at her for being so inconsiderate and disturbing my peace. I am aware I sound quite selfish haha. I woke up at 10 something and believe it or not, laid awake wasting time on my phone until 12pm. As piggy as it gets, people.

So now I am eating Godiva chocolates. Also procrastinating. Today is the worst in a while. I haven't procrastinated this much in such a long time and its seriously perfect(not) timing. 6 days on the clock, 21 days to freedom. God I can taste the liberation already.

Don't ask me about my sejarah progress, it was fine a couple of days ago but now its like zilch.
Don't ask me about my bm progress because I don't even KNOW.
Don't ask me about my agama because it was zero from the start.
God and here I am happily eating expensive chocolate, BLOGGING, when I should be studying for my Literature test later. Hah well. Julius Caesar . Julius Caesar. Et tu brute?

On a BRIGHTER note of my unsurprisingly nonchalant day;

To the girl who eats a lot,

talks a lot,

laughs a lot,

and screams a lot.

Happy Birthday, Nurliyana Zainal!

You're 17 now, finally caught up with most of us! & I know so far your birthdays have been cursed with Chemistry overdose but hey in the future you'll be laughing thinking to yourself DAMN why does Mr Wong adore me so much. anyways! I know we've had our major ups, and major downs ( :( ) but hey we made it through and thats all that matters. Goodluck in SPM ok kick its ass like how you kick Harris' (bahahha) & don't forget me when you're in London checking out the hot Brits (JEALOUS!).

Oh hold on.

Wait for it... wait for it..\

BAM.
HAHAHAHHAA.

x

Who says?

Who says I can’t get stoned?

Turn off the lights and the telephone

Me and my house alone

Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t be free?

From all of the things that I used to be

Re-write my history

Who says I can’t be free?